keep going

End-of-September“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better”
Samuel Beckett

I am not a person that likes to make mistakes in public.

And I am squeamish about the subject of failure.

But here I am publicly declaring that I have failed more than a few times.

I have given up, quit, stopped, thrown in the towel.

I have been: rejected, dismissed, ignored, misunderstood.

I have faltered, and stumbled and fumbled and messed up in many ways.

And I have lived to tell you about it here.

The reason I do this is simple.

It’s to remind myself to keep going despite failing.

And it’s even more important to know and accept that most assuredly we

will trip over our own limitations

and tumble over our own foolish mistakes.

The thing is to keep going anyway.

This is the only way to defeat the malaise–

to go boldly past the fear–

to leap across the emptiness that will be there.

The thing is to stand courageous in the face of our fear.

And especially — the kind of fear that disguises itself as:

self pity, self doubt, or worse judgement and criticism of

others.

I am learning–to leap past these creativity killers or

go directly to Creativity Jail–a dank depressing place where you

hear recordings of how badly you suck– played in heavy rotation.

The remedy?

Write your play, your novel, your screen play, your poem–

or write something else. Make a list. Write a letter. Just keep going.

Practice. Practice practice.

And remember some fearful part of your self

will try to stop you

because of:

-not enough knowledge.

-not enough imagination.

-not enough time

-not enough credit

-not enough positive feedback

-not enough originality

-not enough energy

-not enough ability

-not enough clarity

-not enough talent

-not enough money

-not enough space

-not enough mental acuity

-not enough privacy

-not enough experience.

-not enough patience.

Don’t listen to that part of yourself.

If you don’t have enough of something

figure out how to get it but keep going.

Keep Going. My motto in life.

Here are a few of my favourite quotes on the subject

You fail only if you stop… Ray Bradbury

“I never know where I am going with a painting. I only know where I’ve been, and frankly, I believe that every painter is in a state of continual failure. The only constant in a painter’s life is failure” William Bailey

Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor. Truman Capote

and my most favourite of all from Emily Carr

“I thought my mountain was coming this morning. It was near to speaking when suddenly it shifted, sulked, and returned to smallness. It has eluded me again and sits there, puny and dull. Why?”

Oh and by the way. If you want to do yourself a favour immediately to help you keep going–
buy a copy of Stephen Pressfield’s WAR OF ART and DO THE WORK

Keeping the promise.

“You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet” –FRANZ KAFKA

Here are my writing goals for the next five weeks.

Find time to sit down and work on my script every day.

a) find the stories and time frames of my characters.
b) discover how they relate to the overall structure of the first play in the trilogy SALLY LIVES HERE.
c) To resist distractions and stay focused on this play.

Finish the rough draft of the play by February 28th.

And resist perfectionism.

Just get it down on the page regardless of crap I hate or stuff that sucks.

Now this statement is written and published and promised hand on my heart–

here on the blogosphere with the idea of putting virtual pressure on myself–

to attend to these goals.

I have no writers agent or editor or producer breathing down my neck–

so my blog is my agent, my editor, my boss, etc.

I am writing this to help me keep the promise I have made to myself.

Why is it so easy and so compelling for me to honour commitments,

to others but so difficult to do the same for myself?

Why is it so easy to let myself down?

Why do I expect others to keep their commitments to me

But I let myself off the hook so easily?

This is my over all goal for 2012.

Keeping promises I make to myself.

Day one is Monday.

Today I am clearing my space and cleaning my house chasing away the clutter both physical and emotional.

If you would like to help me with all of this please send me your comments and encouraging words.

If you are working on something and have goals you are welcome to join in the conversation here.