I am re-posting this entry from a few years ago when I was afraid but ready to go forward inspite of my fear. I was about to travel to the Gabriola Theatre Festival to perform my solo show and I was struggling with debilitating stage fright and anxiety.
“The truth is that our finest moments are most likely to occur
when we are feeling deeply uncomfortable, unhappy, or unfulfilled.
For it is only in such moments, propelled by our discomfort,
that we are likely to step out of our ruts and start searching for
different ways or truer answers.”
“I need to step out of my rut.
I need to search for different ways
and truer answers.
I need to be fearless,
My old arch enemy- Stage Fright has reared its ugly head and is taunting me and leaping out at me when I least expect it. My mission is to transform my Fear into Courage and vanquish my enemy for another day. I accept the Mission. My method Love. My super power. Gratitude.These are the magical alchemical tools that will turn the base metal of negative emotion into golden light and give me the super-power I need. I will fly, soar, and float through the sky powered by the golden light of love even though I am terrified.
Please forgive the comic book language. It helps remind myself how much I really want and need to do my play.
I remind myself how grateful I am to have the opportunity.I created my script with love and really hard work and commitment and passion. I remind myself of the diligent writing process-and my willingness to keep going when it seemed as ifI couldn’t bring all the elements together and I wanted to quit. I am grateful to the audience who have bought all the tickets. I am grateful to the festival that invited me to perform. I am grateful for the opportunities I have to make art and share it.I am grateful to special friends that generously supported me. I am grateful for the healing power of art.I am grateful for everything good and bad. I am even grateful to my Stage Fright, which I realize has been just trying to protect me. If stage fright shows up in my dressing room on Saturday night I hope she will be carrying a bouquet of flowers.